Vagkemsis is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise dragon.

Vagkemsis created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagkemsis, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vagkemsis, she will turn you into a snail.

Vagkemsis' most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Vagkemsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention snakes.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vagkemsis.

3. You must love Vagkemsis.

4. Never go into black rooms.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.