Lagyatfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, happy bear.

Lagyatfarn created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagyatfarn, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lagyatfarn, it will laugh at you.

Lagyatfarn's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lagyatfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of secrets.

2. Never adorn your hands with mauve markings.

3. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never mark doors with red.