Yakbimciss is a god.

She takes the form of a small, two-faced chinchilla.

Yakbimciss created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakbimciss, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Yakbimciss, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yakbimciss' most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yakbimciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never go into black rooms.