Cudtettimif Satflanfun is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, awe-inspiring jaguar.

Cudtettimif Satflanfun created a quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Cudtettimif Satflanfun, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudtettimif Satflanfun, she will turn you into a tree.

Cudtettimif Satflanfun's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cudtettimif Satflanfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Run away if five porpoises approach from the south.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never feed bread to tapirs while wearing cyan stockings.