Fottagjip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unthoughtful guinea pig.

Fottagjip created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fottagjip, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fottagjip, she will torture you forever.

Fottagjip's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Fottagjip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Fottagjip in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not speak of dark matter near sacred fires.