Nakdonbass is a god.

She takes the form of a large, charitable cow.

Nakdonbass created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakdonbass, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nakdonbass, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Nakdonbass' most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nakdonbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in the presence of snakes.

2. Always maintain obedience during fasting days.

3. Never feed melons to otters while wearing brown hats.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.