Fidparknill is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, stupid tortoise.

Fidparknill created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidparknill, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fidparknill, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fidparknill's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Fidparknill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about rice.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

5. Always wear pink.