Damtarpgar is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, egotistical gnu.

Damtarpgar created a top quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damtarpgar, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Damtarpgar, she will ignore you.

Damtarpgar's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Damtarpgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon cyan earth.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.