Cabyim Cetjansog is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, moody weasel.

Cabyim Cetjansog created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabyim Cetjansog, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cabyim Cetjansog, it will send minions to preach to you.

Cabyim Cetjansog's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Cabyim Cetjansog's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Cabyim Cetjansog.

2. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Heed all visions.

5. Remain kneeling during prayer.