Zedkimrag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sage walrus.

Zedkimrag created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedkimrag, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zedkimrag, it will turn you into a tree.

Zedkimrag's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Zedkimrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never think about spacetime near frogs while wearing gray ear rings and balancing six silver spheres on your chest.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not take Zedkimrag's name in vain.

5. Never eat lemons.