Safzoggem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, charitable owl.

Safzoggem created a strange quark four years ago.

If you believe in Safzoggem, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Safzoggem, she will destroy your home solar system.

Safzoggem's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Safzoggem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Do not eat peanuts.

3. Always help geese.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.