Femxuccan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited bear.

Femxuccan created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Femxuccan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Femxuccan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Femxuccan's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Femxuccan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Femxuccan.

4. Never feed garlic to birds while wearing black coats.

5. Always wear purple.