Gebhakmutzen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, humorless badger.

Gebhakmutzen created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gebhakmutzen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gebhakmutzen, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gebhakmutzen's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gebhakmutzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear shoes marked with fawn.

2. You must pray to Gebhakmutzen four times a day.

3. Never remain bowed during dusk.

4. Never point your head toward the east during prayer.

5. Do not commit murder.