Pithivgetarnflabratbam is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pithivgetarnflabratbam created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pithivgetarnflabratbam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pithivgetarnflabratbam, she will torture you forever.

Pithivgetarnflabratbam's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Pithivgetarnflabratbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never leap in holy places.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always obey Pithivgetarnflabratbam's priests.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near frogs while wearing yellow tights and balancing five copper spheres on your back.