Gedbonkjan is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, selfish dove.

Gedbonkjan created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedbonkjan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gedbonkjan, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Gedbonkjan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gedbonkjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never think about dark matter near geese while wearing yellow dresses and balancing seven titanium spheres on your feet.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away if three great tits approach from the south.

5. Always look after injured dolphins.