Tapdavkin is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, slow deer.

Tapdavkin created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Tapdavkin, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tapdavkin, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tapdavkin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tapdavkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing blue coats.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never talk about special relativity near voles while wearing cyan shirts and balancing six lead spheres on your arms.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.