Jonstertetti is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive yak.

Jonstertetti created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonstertetti, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jonstertetti, it will turn you into a goat.

Jonstertetti's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Jonstertetti's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

2. Do not speak about bread.

3. Hide if nine monkeys approach from the west.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near shrews while wearing black shoes and balancing five silicon spheres on your head.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.