Linvonlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a large, effective weasel.

Linvonlarp created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linvonlarp, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Linvonlarp, she will not invite you to parties.

Linvonlarp's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Linvonlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never feed gooseberries to otters while wearing boots.

5. Do not drink alcohol.