Tamhadtiglapdamflamdubcar Gebcitrip Tonknadtik is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, loving narwhal.

Tamhadtiglapdamflamdubcar Gebcitrip Tonknadtik created the cosmos seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamhadtiglapdamflamdubcar Gebcitrip Tonknadtik, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tamhadtiglapdamflamdubcar Gebcitrip Tonknadtik, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tamhadtiglapdamflamdubcar Gebcitrip Tonknadtik's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tamhadtiglapdamflamdubcar Gebcitrip Tonknadtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about special relativity near snakes while wearing magenta shoes and balancing nine nickel spheres on your back.