Kikjarnlag is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, idiotic wyrm.

Kikjarnlag created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kikjarnlag, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kikjarnlag, she will turn you into a mole.

Kikjarnlag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Kikjarnlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to seals while wearing gray boots.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near gulls while wearing green jumpers and balancing nine tin spheres on your back.

3. Worship no other gods but Kikjarnlag.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

5. Erect four silicon sculptures of Kikjarnlag on top of important buildings.