Citbitzak is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless wasp.

Citbitzak created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citbitzak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Citbitzak, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Citbitzak's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Citbitzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to dolphins while wearing indigo hats.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never cross crossroads at dusk.