Dussdogdob is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, egotistical ant.

Dussdogdob created dark matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Dussdogdob, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dussdogdob, he will turn you into a puffin.

Dussdogdob's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Dussdogdob's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink swans for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill ducks.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near ants while wearing turquoise hats and balancing seven silicon spheres on your face.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Run away if three tortoises approach from the east.