Metappsab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless whale.

Metappsab created a strange quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metappsab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Metappsab, she will turn you into a mole.

Metappsab's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Metappsab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not keep three hamsters in a large pit.

4. Metappsab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.