Henbellkoplistgepten is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating bear.

Henbellkoplistgepten created a photon three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Henbellkoplistgepten, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Henbellkoplistgepten, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Henbellkoplistgepten's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Henbellkoplistgepten's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Henbellkoplistgepten loves frogs, so they must be respected.

3. Worship no other gods but Henbellkoplistgepten.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing orange corsets and balancing six gold spheres on your neck.