Gepvenjam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient eagle.

Gepvenjam created the Large Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gepvenjam, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gepvenjam, she will turn you into a rock.

Gepvenjam's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Gepvenjam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Gepvenjam in the centre of the settlement.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Gepvenjam loves horses, so they must be respected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gepvenjam.

5. Gepvenjam must be the most important thing in your life.