Catyatsan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unjust raccoon.

Catyatsan created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Catyatsan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Catyatsan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catyatsan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Catyatsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not turn your arms toward east.

2. Always help moths in need.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not wear ear rings marked with cyan.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.