Fadbunwon is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthoughtful hydra.

Fadbunwon created the cosmos twelve years ago.

If you believe in Fadbunwon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fadbunwon, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fadbunwon's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fadbunwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Erect three platinum sculptures of Fadbunwon on top of important buildings.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fadbunwon.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat green fruit.