Tarpgumvagvin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, humane zebra.

Tarpgumvagvin created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpgumvagvin, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarpgumvagvin, she will destroy your favourite star.

Tarpgumvagvin's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tarpgumvagvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Run away from purple sheep, for they are unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not speak about limes.