Pin Binbetfon is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, blissful newt.

Pin Binbetfon created a strange quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pin Binbetfon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pin Binbetfon, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Pin Binbetfon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Pin Binbetfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect eight copper sculptures of Pin Binbetfon on top of important buildings.

4. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

5. Never think about planets.