Gepwatcum is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unsympathetic hare.

Gepwatcum created carbon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepwatcum, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gepwatcum, he will send minions to preach to you.

Gepwatcum's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Gepwatcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never hurt frogs.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never travel toward the east during spring.