Cunpagbon is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, witless snake.

Cunpagbon created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunpagbon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cunpagbon, he will make you grow a tail.

Cunpagbon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cunpagbon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.