Linhotrip is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, temperamental lizard.

Linhotrip created humanity five million years ago.

If you believe in Linhotrip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Linhotrip, it will turn you into a duck.

Linhotrip's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Linhotrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

2. Always remove shirts before entering holy places.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never think about gravity near doves while wearing fawn shorts and balancing five titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not gather at towers at dawn.