Tifdissfom is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, cheerful whale.

Tifdissfom created matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifdissfom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tifdissfom, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tifdissfom's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Tifdissfom's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Do not speak about grapes.

4. You must pray to Tifdissfom four times a day.

5. Always help ducks.