Jarngupapp is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate horse.

Jarngupapp created the Cigar Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarngupapp, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jarngupapp, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Jarngupapp's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jarngupapp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Jarngupapp in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about eukaryotes.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Jarngupapp loves turtles, so they must be honoured.