Bamkop is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited eagle.

Bamkop created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamkop, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bamkop, he will boil you in a big pot.

Bamkop's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bamkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.