Tentifsat Lakquimbom is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving skunk.

Tentifsat Lakquimbom created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tentifsat Lakquimbom, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tentifsat Lakquimbom, it will send you a sign.

Tentifsat Lakquimbom's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tentifsat Lakquimbom's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not kill eagles.

4. Never talk about monkeys.

5. Never talk about fire.