Yarpcutcarcumcim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, dishonest dove.

Yarpcutcarcumcim created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpcutcarcumcim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarpcutcarcumcim, she will destroy your home solar system.

Yarpcutcarcumcim's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Yarpcutcarcumcim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Never gather eight moths near doors.