Rancubhotjen Sugpakdim is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, compassionate goat.

Rancubhotjen Sugpakdim created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rancubhotjen Sugpakdim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rancubhotjen Sugpakdim, it will jump up and down on your head.

Rancubhotjen Sugpakdim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Rancubhotjen Sugpakdim's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near goats while wearing blue rings and balancing eight silver spheres on your arms.

3. Never sing in the presence of elders.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.