Stikwatnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless whale.

Stikwatnurl created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stikwatnurl, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Stikwatnurl, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Stikwatnurl's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Stikwatnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not wear carbon on your body.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.