Gemwabgut is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest hippopotamus.

Gemwabgut created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemwabgut, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gemwabgut, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gemwabgut's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gemwabgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Run away if three great tits approach from the north.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near manatees while wearing fawn shorts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your head.