Pangkipbum is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pangkipbum created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangkipbum, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pangkipbum, she will turn you into a mouse.

Pangkipbum's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Pangkipbum's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always remove coats before touching copper.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangkipbum.

4. Always obey Pangkipbum's priests.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Pangkipbum in the centre of the settlement.