Vonhotvab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy sheep.

Vonhotvab created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonhotvab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonhotvab, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vonhotvab's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vonhotvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured nematodes.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Put Vonhotvab first in all things.

5. Do not take Vonhotvab's name in vain.