Bonnulcab is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unfair chinchilla.

Bonnulcab created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonnulcab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonnulcab, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bonnulcab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bonnulcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Bonnulcab loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Always pray immersed in water.