Mitxembast is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional yak.

Mitxembast created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Mitxembast, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitxembast, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mitxembast's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Mitxembast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare tomatoes while wearing shorts.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Mitxembast.

3. Never eat cucumbers.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never sit in the presence of foxes.