Xenvonkbastyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced giraffe.

Xenvonkbastyatt created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xenvonkbastyatt, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Xenvonkbastyatt, he will be very unhappy.

Xenvonkbastyatt's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Xenvonkbastyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near nematodes while wearing magenta stockings and balancing six lead spheres on your hands.

5. Never eat green fruit.