Dampinxem Tagrapdut Nurtboprot is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, humane dove.

Dampinxem Tagrapdut Nurtboprot created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dampinxem Tagrapdut Nurtboprot, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dampinxem Tagrapdut Nurtboprot, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Dampinxem Tagrapdut Nurtboprot's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Dampinxem Tagrapdut Nurtboprot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always look after injured geese.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near horses while wearing pink boots and balancing eight carbon spheres on your back.

5. Never talk about stars.