Gigkadtim is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, tiresome snake.

Gigkadtim created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigkadtim, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gigkadtim, she will have a low opinion of you.

Gigkadtim's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gigkadtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Gigkadtim.

3. Run away from magenta tapirs, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about eukaryotes.

5. Never feed lots of figs to mites while wearing brown shoes.