Zenlidsid is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic guinea pig.

Zenlidsid created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenlidsid, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zenlidsid, he will refuse to believe in you.

Zenlidsid's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Zenlidsid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Never approach mountains carrying ash.

3. Never remain prostrate during midday.

4. Do not gather at towers at midnight.

5. Do not resist balance.