Yartnutflab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, generous chicken.

Yartnutflab created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartnutflab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yartnutflab, he will turn you into a duck.

Yartnutflab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yartnutflab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five titanium sculptures of Yartnutflab on top of important buildings.

2. Always help sick manatees.

3. Never discuss archaea in public assemblies.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Do not covet oxen.