Fetpopcin Mobbegcar is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unjust salamander.

Fetpopcin Mobbegcar created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetpopcin Mobbegcar, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetpopcin Mobbegcar, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fetpopcin Mobbegcar's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fetpopcin Mobbegcar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Retreat if seven birds approach from the south.

5. Fetpopcin Mobbegcar loves eagles, so they must be respected.