Sinbitpopsawzak Straghuglen Ortflatpan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, irritating lion.

Sinbitpopsawzak Straghuglen Ortflatpan created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Sinbitpopsawzak Straghuglen Ortflatpan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sinbitpopsawzak Straghuglen Ortflatpan, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Sinbitpopsawzak Straghuglen Ortflatpan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Sinbitpopsawzak Straghuglen Ortflatpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not count beyond four during ceremonies.

5. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.