Paghad Nargonbopcip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, annoying tortoise.

Paghad Nargonbopcip created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Paghad Nargonbopcip, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Paghad Nargonbopcip, it will cry a lot.

Paghad Nargonbopcip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Paghad Nargonbopcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Do not kill otters.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never think about dark matter.