Pomcuncuss is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, proud tortoise.

Pomcuncuss created the planet Earth five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomcuncuss, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pomcuncuss, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Pomcuncuss' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Pomcuncuss' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat figs.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

4. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Pomcuncuss in the centre of the settlement.