Jarncindiss is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, astonishing wasp.

Jarncindiss created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarncindiss, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jarncindiss, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jarncindiss' most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jarncindiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Jarncindiss' name in vain.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near great tits while wearing orange trousers and balancing four platinum spheres on your back.

3. Jarncindiss loves cats, so they must be honoured.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.