Kamcencub is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic troll.

Kamcencub created dark matter nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kamcencub, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kamcencub, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Kamcencub's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Kamcencub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Kamcencub loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Always take life seriously.