Litcabvollarn is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, emotional meerkat.

Litcabvollarn created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Litcabvollarn, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Litcabvollarn, he will turn you into a slug.

Litcabvollarn's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Litcabvollarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about stars.